Research from Duke University shows that about 40% of our daily actions are habitual rather than conscious choices. Habits are really anchors: they shape the way we think, feel, and create joy in everyday life. The good news? Neuroscience shows we can rewire these loops for more energy, clarity, and fulfillment of our highest potential.

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Reflections & wisdom

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Our brains are designed to conserve energy by automating repeated behaviors. Each time we perform an action, neurons that “fire together wire together”, a principle first demonstrated by Donald Hebb in 1949 and later expanded through studies on neuroplasticity. When a behavior produces a dopamine reward, the brain encodes it as valuable. Over time, the brain begins releasing dopamine in anticipation of the behavior, creating a craving loop that drives repetition.

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This is exactly what happened to me years ago as I was struggling to exercise more. I tried everything from exercising mid-day, end-of-day and just before going to sleep (I later learned this is not ideal since it hinders sleep quality). The only way I was able to make the exercise habit stick was to integrate it as a routine right after I woke up, 7 days a week. Although the first few days were challenging, I persisted. A decade later, I can say that I actually love exercising each morning and actually crave it. When unexpected situations arise in the morning that prevent me from exercising, I actually miss it. And science shows that consistent morning exercise enhances cognitive alertness, stabilizes mood, and regulates sleep.

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As Dr. Andrew Huberman explains, “Habits are built through repetition and reinforcement, not perfection.” (Huberman Lab Podcast, Ep. 53, 2022). To shift an unhelpful pattern, we must replace it with an alternative behavior that provides a similar emotional or physiological reward.

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For example:

• Instead of snacking to relieve stress, take a short walk or practice deep breathing (both trigger dopamine and reduce cortisol).

• Replace doom scrolling before bed with reading or listening to calming music, still satisfying the need to unwind.

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Why do People Resist Change?

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The book Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey explores why individuals and organizations often struggle to change despite sincere intentions. It introduces the concept of “immunity to change,” a psychological immune system that protects existing beliefs and behaviors but ironically blocks progress toward desired change. 

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Below are three suggestions from their book to make change more joyful:

1. Engage Both Head and Heart: Change requires working simultaneously on both thinking and feeling. By acknowledging and integrating emotional as well as cognitive aspects of change, individuals experience more meaningful progress, leading to feelings of hope, energy, and joy as they uncover new possibilities.​

2. Focus on Mindset and Behavior Together: Sustainable transformation comes from shifting both mindsets and actions concurrently, not just one or the other. Successfully aligning what we think and do helps reduce anxiety and increases mastery, which fuels a sense of accomplishment and pleasure throughout the change process.​

3. Make Change an Exploratory and Empowering Journey: The process of overcoming immunity to change invites curiosity and self-differentiation, allowing people to test assumptions, challenge fears, and build new "muscles" for adaptive behavior. This experiential approach transforms change from a fearful challenge into an inspiring opportunity for growth and freedom.​

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Together, these insights support a joyful approach to deep, lasting change by transforming resistance into energy and fostering a balanced integration of head, heart, and action.

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How Long Does It Really Take to Form a Habit?

 

Forget the “21-day rule.” A landmark study by Dr. Phillippa Lally and colleagues at University College London found that it takes an average of 66 days (ranging from 18 to 254 days) for a new habit to become automatic. Recent research from Caltech (2023) and UCL (2024) further shows that emotional reinforcement and context consistency are stronger predictors of long-term habit formation than time alone. In short, habits rooted in positive emotion — pride, enjoyment, or meaning — stick faster and last longer than those rooted in guilt or willpower.

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For more insights, listen to the podcast episodes with:

-Mike Rubin, The Joy of Potential

-Raphael Malenfant, Becoming the best version of yourself​

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