September 21, 2025

We often think of success as what we do, our accomplishments, our achievements, the goals we reach. But the deepest, most lasting predictors of wellbeing turn out to lie not in what we attain, but in who we connect with, and how.

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Reflections & Wisdom

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Over decades, some of the richest, most rigorous research has shown this again and again. One of the most famous: The Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-80-year longitudinal study that followed individuals and families across their lifespans to ask: what truly makes for a good, long, happy life?

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The findings are striking:

• The quality of our close relationships is a stronger predictor of happiness, health, and even longevity than wealth, fame, or IQ.

• People satisfied in their relationships in midlife were physically healthier in older age, with slower decline in both body and mind.

• Strong relationships buffer us from stress, reduce risk of mental illness, support immune function, and protect us from chronic disease. Loneliness, by contrast, has health effects comparable to smoking or alcoholism.

• In end-of-life reflections, people consistently report that the things they are most proud of are their relationships—not their material achievements.

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The latest research echoes and expands these insights:

• WHO (2025): Social connection reduces inflammation, lowers the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and dementia, while loneliness significantly raises early death risk.

• Daily relationship satisfaction (2025): On days when couples felt closer, they reported stronger mental sharpness, mood, and physical health.

• Youth studies (2025): Strengthening social networks in young people directly enhances mental health and resilience.

• Older adults (2025): Social isolation predicted both depressive symptoms and cognitive decline, showing the protective power of staying connected at every age.

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The message across generations is clear: strong relationships safeguard health, joy, and purpose.

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 For deeper exploration on this subject, listen to these podcast interviews:

• Pete Bombaci, The power of human connection

• Satish Kumar, The joy of loving unconditionally

One Action Toward More Joy​

Drawing not only from Harvard and recent studies, but also from the 40+ years of Marshall Rosenberg’s work on Nonviolent Communication (NVC), here are actionable steps to strengthen your relational world:

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• Listen with Empathy, Not to Fix

  • When someone speaks, focus on understanding their feelings and needs rather than offering solutions or judgments.

  • A simple phrase: “It sounds like you’re feeling ___ because you need ___ ,did I get that right?”

  • Why it works: Feeling understood reduces defensiveness, builds trust, and strengthens connection.

• Express Yourself with Honesty & Care

  • Share your experience without blame or criticism. Use the NVC framework:

    • Observation (what happened, without judgment)

    • Feeling (how you feel)

    • Need (what value or need is at stake)

    • Request (a clear, doable action you’d like)

  • Example: “When meetings start late, I feel anxious because I need clarity. Would you be open to starting on time tomorrow?”

  • Why it works: This shifts conversations from conflict to collaboration.

• Replace Criticism with Appreciation

  • Offer gratitude that connects actions to needs met, instead of vague praise.

  • Example: “When you checked in on me yesterday, I felt supported because it met my need for care.”

  • Why it works: Genuine appreciation deepens bonds, reinforces positive behaviors, and creates joy in relationships.

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Your invitation: Choose one of these techniques to deepen your relationships.

Joyful brain delight​

Japan sets new record for the number centenarians. Okinawa, Japan, continues to be a global model for longevity, with a significant number of centenarians and supercentenarians. As of September 1, 2025, Japan's centenarian population reached a record 99,763 individuals aged 100 or older, marking the 55th consecutive year of increase. Women comprise 88% of this group, with the oldest living person being 114-year-old Shigeko Kagawa, a retired physician from Nara Prefecture.
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